وَلَهُنَّ مِثْلُ الَّذِي عَلَيْهِنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ ۚ وَلِلرِّجَالِ عَلَيْهِنَّ دَرَجَةٌ ۗ
“…And women have rights similar to those of men over them, according to what is equitable, and men have a degree over them….” Baqarah: 228
What did Ibn ‘Abbas (ra)- the Interpreter of the Quran – and the one the Prophet ﷺ made dua this dua for: “O Allah, give him deep understanding of the religion and teach him the interpretation (of the Qur’an)
He said about this verse:
“Indeed, I love to beautify myself for my wife just as I love her to beautify herself for me. For Allah, the Exalted, says:
{And they (women) have rights similar to those (of men) over them in kindness} [Qur’an 2:228].
And I do not like to demand all of my rights from her, for Allah says:
{But men have a degree over them} [Qur’an 2:228].” (Musanaf Ibn Abi Shaybah)
Do you see the implications here? The meaning of the degree?
Men having a degree over us doesn’t mean they get to boss us around for their comforts and they are preferred over us spiritually.
This degree is a degree of kindness, of excellence, of doing more – not of taking more/getting more.
We should be celebrating this! This is ease and comfort for us! So much more is expected from men from Allah, it’s scary.
As for us – even that what’s expected of us – a man who truly owns his ‘degree’ over us will not expect everything and he will let things slide. And at the same time he will never shortchange you.
My mission is to change that. From my Revival course to also the Islamic Marriage course -to highlight women’s real rights – from the 4 madhhabs – along with the Sublime Sunnah – we see a Deen that is so
The Islamic Marriage isn’t just about rights and responsibilities, it’s about understanding the how our Lord wants us to be – it’s in these texts and ultimately – in the sublime example of our Prophet ﷺ .
A marriage can’t thrive just on rights, roles and responsibilities – it needs spirit – that’s what my Islamic Marriage course is about.
