That’s right, our Deen does not want or expect us to be miserable.
Or stressed.
Or depressed.
These are not normal states of being.
Or shouldn’t be.
Sh.Samer al-Nass responded to a woman complaining about her marriage: pay him and get out (ie do khul’); you don’t have to be miserable.
Yet unfortunately, many marriages are miserable and they continue — because our cultures and communities have taught us that maintaining the status quo is better than rocking the boat.
I disagree.
If you are miserable: you MUST rock the boat.
Your situation won’t get better by being patient and sucking up everything – only to let it out years down the line.
Maybe even after the kids are gone because finally you have some headspace and what’s in your head is just overwhelming resentment and hurt.
You must rock the boat NOW – for change NOW. It is better to clear the air than harbor unaddressed hurt/resentment that can fester and make things worse, regardless of how long you are married.
Learn your Islamic rights in marriage – and know how to get out of a miserable state.
This doesn’t mean divorce – there are rights you may not be getting that will change your life.
You can have an Islamic marriage and not be miserable.
My Islamic Marriage course is going to be something unlike you’ve ever seen.
