Last week we hosted several guests at our house, family friends from Damascus: Sidi Abu Nizar and (some) of his family came for a visit and to do a mawlid at our house.
The mawlid was to be the day after their arrival, Saturday, at 1PM. I was appointed to do dessert.
Now dessert at mawlids is like a must for me according to my “principles.” It’s celebratory, unlike food, I consider it more essential than the food.
But this time, I refused. Even though I went against “my principles”, there was something more important I didn’t want to go against – the Sunnah of our Prophet ﷺ. Namely, his advice: “We have been prohibited from doing takalluf.” Takalluf is trouble oneself to an unsustainable extent.
Yes, we honor our guests, it is of the principles of our Deen and of the high traits of the Sunnah. But we don’t honor guests in such a way that we run ourselves to the ground and never want to have guests over again.
In my situation – I was prepping the house for my guests’ stay and preparing dinner the night before. They came very late so getting to bed for me was not possible except after Fajr as I also had a class the next day I needed to prep a bit for.
I made breakfast in the morning, served it and ran to my Zoom class which was from 11.30 to 1pm. My Zoom class ended and there were already guests who had arrived for the Mawlid! And I still had to clean up the breakfast!
Knowing how tight my schedule was – I refused to make dessert because I couldn’t. If I agreed, it would be done grudgingly and with resentment – ie with takalluf.
Let go of your principles or ideals for the principles and ideals of your Beloved Prophet ﷺ and you will never regret it. Rather, your life will be much more peaceful and balanced.
Want to learn more about setting boundaries in the Sunnah? Free Sunnah-Life Skills Pack coming soon, inshaAllah!
